Tainted Black Read online

  “Who do you think is gonna show in L.A.?” I zipped the back of her dress, and she turned around, her green eyes meeting my hazel.

  “Marco will show, and I’m sure Joey is ditching Riley’s party. He always has pot, too. And he is so fucking into you.” She whispered the last sentence, and just as she did, the sound of a motorcycle’s engine hummed from the driveway. I stiffened. Izzy’s eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights. “Holy shit! Let me go get a cardigan or something. My dad will flip shit! And don’t tell him where we’re going!” she shouted as she ran up the stairs.

  I straightened my back, listening as she scrambled through her closet. She wasn’t the only one nervous about his appearance. I looked down at the seams of my dress, smoothing out the wrinkles with flat palms. My heart picked up speed, and I sighed. What is it with you? Why are you so nervous to see him? You see him almost every day.

  It took a while for him to come in. I fidgeted on my feet, glancing at the couch. I could have taken a seat, but I didn’t want to. I wanted him to see me, maybe compliment me on something I was wearing like he always did.

  I loved this dress. I’d just bought it. Maybe he would compliment that.

  So many crazy thoughts ran through my mind, but they all made sure to shut the hell up as the door creaked open and Mr. Black walked into the house, going through the mail in his hand and, soon, kicking the door shut behind him. When he spotted me, his eyes connected with mine, expanding. “Oh, Chloe.” He put on a smile. “What’s going on, Little Knight?”

  “Hi, Mr. Black.”

  “Theo,” he corrected.

  I laughed. “I feel really weird calling you by your first name.”

  “We’re all adults now, right?” he shrugged. “Calling me Mr. Black makes me feel old as hell.”

  “But you’re not. You look great—I mean you shouldn’t consider yourself old—” I sealed my lips, heat blazing in my cheeks. “I just mean… you’re not old.”

  “Ha.” He laughed softly, head tilted. He dropped the stack of mail on the table, walking forward. “That’s nice to know.” He studied my attire, smiling softly. “Cool dress.”

  “Thanks.” I beamed inside, bursting with rays of sunlight—or maybe it was moonlight. I felt cool to have his compliment—like the moon—not hot and blazing like the sun. I fought hard to ward off my blush, looking towards the open window above Mrs. Black’s favorite red leather recliner.

  “You two coming to Janet’s shindig tonight?” he asked.

  I whipped my head. “Um… I’m not sure. We’re going to go to the mall. Izzy is going to help me pick out a dress for graduation day.” I gave an innocent shrug and press of my lips. “It’s right around the corner, after all.”

  “Really? I believe Izzy has had hers picked out since winter.” He folded his arms across his broad chest, a crooked smile taking over his lips. I hadn’t realized before, but he only had on a black muscle tank. His muscles flexed as his arms crossed, the detailed ink making my heart spasm a little.

  Fuck, Izzy’s dad was hot. With his goatee and hair styled the same ever since the day I met him. Classy and casual. Why couldn’t guys my age look like him?

  “Well, I’ll let Janet know.” He walked past me, and I caught a whiff of his scent. There was a smidgen of cologne, but it’d most likely faded from a long day at work. His natural scent was inviting. Delicious. My body hummed inside, familiar with his smell. “She might be a little disappointed, though.”

  “I’m sorry,” I apologized. “If I find a dress in time, we’ll try to make it.”

  Izzy trotted down the stairs with a small tote bag, greeting her dad as she wrapped her arms over his shoulders. “Hey, Dad.”

  “Izzy Bear, heard you weren’t coming to your mom’s party tonight?”

  “Oh…” She pretended to care, pouting her bottom lip as she pulled away. “I was going to, but Chloe has been asking me to help her buy a dress for weeks now.” That was the lie we agreed to use if our parents asked our whereabouts.

  He looked at me briefly before focusing on her again. “Sure, kiddo.” He gave her a sarcastic, full-of-shit look. “Come on, now. You don’t have to lie to me. Just be safe and be sure to call me tonight. I won’t hound you unless I feel I have to.” He looked at each of us. “You’re smart girls. And I trust you around Chloe. That’s the only reason I’m letting you go out tonight.”

  My lips spread when his eyes bounced from hers to mine. They sparked a little, the brown pools gentle and confident. Unable to conceal the grin and the blush that ran over my face, I dropped my head, pretending I didn’t notice the spark in his eye. Sometimes I wondered if Mr. Black was flirting with me or if he was just a really nice guy.

  There were certain looks he gave me, looks that only boys that were into me provided. Like how he winked at me every time he saw me, and even when he stood only a few inches away, watching as I spoke to him and filled him in on the latest school gossip. He watched how my lips moved, and even noted how my eyes always rolled when I mentioned Riley. He wasn’t pretending to be interested in what I had to say. He actually responded and even gave me advice.

  It was… strange. But, for some reason, I liked it. He was the only one that actually listened to me. Not even Izzy indulged in my concerns fully. Most times, she was too busy talking about herself or something she got into, and if she wasn’t, she’d be on her cellphone, texting or tweeting away while I quietly explained my reasons for being upset, happy, etcetera. She cared, of course, but she didn’t listen quite as well as Mr. Black.

  Izzy kissed his cheek. “I’ll be safe, Dad. Don’t worry,” she promised. Then, she picked up her bag from the corner, gesturing for me to come on with a hurried swoop of her eyes. She was out the door in a second, and I followed after her, but before walking out, I took a glance over my shoulder. Mr. Black waved a hand, wordlessly saying, “See you later.”

  It was hard ignoring the heat that slid through me as he sat on the arm of the sofa, arms folded again, brown eyes hot and smoldering. “See you later, Mr. Black.”

  “Later, Chloe.” Chlo-ee. I shut the door, but trust me, the way he sang my name replayed in my head all day and all night long.

  Even as Izzy got completely drunk and puffed on marijuana, I thought about him. I imagined him, and then I remembered that, ever since I was twelve, I had always admired him.

  He kept himself in great shape. He was nice to me. Sweet. And it seemed when he was younger, he was a complete badass, but Mrs. Black whipped him into decent shape and made him sort of good. I knew there was some darkness in him, and that alone intrigued me.

  When I was a little older, spending endless hours at Izzy’s and growing into my mature, girly ways, I wondered how he was in bed. I’m a little ashamed to admit that I heard him and Mrs. Black one night.

  I’d slept over with Izzy, and it was nearing two in the morning. I could hear them when I went to use the bathroom. She sounded like she was in ultimate pleasure—like she never wanted it to end—and he groaned, gently banging the headboard against the wall.

  I could vividly imagine him.

  Eyes shut.

  Body tense, ready to release.

  I was sixteen. I was pathetic.

  And crushing on my bestie’s dad.

  Hard.

  Around 1:45 AM, Izzy’s cellphone rang, buzzing on the nightstand. It was a constant ring. On and off. Maybe it was urgent. “Izzy,” I groaned. “Your phone.” She snored. When her phone stopped, mine decided to ring, and I picked up, answering groggily.

  “Hello?”

  “Chloe!” Mr. Black’s voice came through the line, frantic and on edge. I perked up, eyebrows stitched.

  “Mr. Black?”

  “I—fuck. I need—where is Izzy? Where are you?”

  “We’re… at Frankie’s. Why? What’s going on?”

  “Is she sleeping?” His voice sounded strained.

  “Yes.”

  “I need you to wake her up… please.”

/>   “Mr. Black… what’s going on?”

  “It’s Janet…” His voice broke. “I’m at the hospital and Janet… she—there was an accident.”

  “An accident?” I gasped. “What do you mean? What happened?” I hopped off the sofa, rushing to where Izzy had passed out on the floor. She groaned.

  Mr. Black continued. “On her way home from the bakery she stopped at some—some run down gas station. Got robbed and mauled by some low-life motherfuckers. I swear to God if they find them I’ll fucking kill them.”

  “Is she alright?” I asked.

  “She… tried to fight back. Broke her jaw. Broke some ribs, and…” He swallowed hard, and his voice was unclear. “Because she fought back, they stabbed her eight times. She would have bled to death if someone hadn’t found her, heard her cries for help.” He sniffled. My heart cracked.

  “Oh my god,” I whispered.

  “They don’t know if she’s going to make it.”

  I shook Izzy harder, and she sat up, eyes broad and confused. “What the fuck, Chloe?”

  “Izzy, I—we have to go.” I stuttered, keeping the phone glued to my ear. “What hospital?” I asked into the phone. Mr. Black told me where, and as soon as I was dressed and helped Izzy back into her dress, I grabbed her keys and rushed down the stairs, meeting at the car.

  Izzy groaned, calling after me. “I’m so lost,” she whined “I don’t get what’s going on. Why are we leaving in the middle of the night? Did Marco try to come onto you? I swear I’ll fucking kill him.”

  I slammed the car door behind me, and when she was inside, I turned to face her, gripping her shoulder caps. “Izzy, I seriously need you to get out of your high and hung-over stupor and listen to me.”

  She frowned, forehead creasing. “Sheesh. Okay…?”

  “Your mom was… robbed and stabbed eight times on her way home tonight.”

  “What!?” She gasped, frantic. Her entire body perked up, eyes growing wide. That was all she needed to hear to snap out of it. It almost seemed she didn’t believe me with the look of utter disbelief masking her face.

  “She’s in the hospital,” I went on, and I hated to see the relief in her eyes because I wasn’t finished. “But they don’t know if she’s going to make it.”

  She cupped her mouth, eyes wide and watery. “Oh my god,” she whispered. Then she waved her hands, tears spilling as she motioned for me to start the car and hurry up. “Well fucking go, Chloe! Go! Oh my god!”

  I started the car and pulled off, unsure of what to feel… how to react. I felt numb for both Izzy and Mr. Black. I wasn’t sure how to accept it either. If Izzy lost her mother, she would regret not showing up for the baking party.

  She would hate herself.

  I couldn’t believe this was happening. Even as we reached the hospital, storming inside and finding Mr. Black in the waiting room, it still hadn’t hit me yet. It hit Izzy of course. She sobbed hard into her father’s chest, her body racking. Mr. Black tried remaining strong, but he couldn’t fight the tears.

  I lingered silently, my head down, purposely avoiding their eyes.

  We sat in the waiting room for three hours. They were performing surgery, but the surgery turned out to be nothing more than another complication.

  A doctor appeared in the waiting room. “Mr. Black?” he called, eyes sullen.

  Izzy and Mr. Black jumped out of their seats, rushing for him. They had optimism in their eyes, but I could tell that was about to be crushed. Mrs. Black was already gone and they didn’t even know it.

  Deep down, I knew it.

  I knew she’d lost the battle. She was a petite woman, and to be stabbed eight times… I couldn’t even imagine. This wasn’t 50 Cent’s survival story. There was no fantasy bullshit—no coming out of this.

  This was real.

  Raw.

  And insanely depressing.

  The doctor spoke, and immediately, Izzy broke down, clutching herself, eyes sealed tight as she wept. Mr. Black caught her as she threw her body into his arms, reeling her in, and swallowing hard as he did his best to nod his head and take heed of his emotions. Patting Mr. Black’s shoulder, the doctor turned and walked away, leaving us in a muggy shower of gloom.

  They stood there... well, he stood there. Holding Izzy. He was in a frozen state of mind, listening to his daughter weep, calming her by rubbing her back. It would have seemed warm and affectionate on his behalf, but those weren’t his intentions. It was a habit he was accustomed to—soothing his daughter whenever she was in need. The act he was pulling now… it was confusing as hell. His eyes were too focused on the blank wall ahead of him. He was too stiff.

  Too cold.

  Too… wrapped up in disbelief.

  Finally he moved. He spoke—did something to prove he was okay… for the time being anyway.

  “Chloe,” Mr. Black murmured, turning only a fraction of the way. I stood. His face was as white as a sheet of snow. “Take Izzy home, please. Make sure she’s okay.”

  I nodded, immediately reaching for a torn up Izzy and making my way to the exit. Before I departed, I looked back. Mr. Black pinched the bridge of his nose, trying his hardest to fight off the tears. Only, it didn’t work. And though I wanted to be there for Izzy, I also wanted to be there for him.

  He had been ripped apart, raw emotion pouring out as he sat in one of the chairs, body shuddering. Tears threatened me, but I kept it together, cooing to Izzy as I made my way to the car. As she sobbed in the passenger seat, I sat still for a moment, gripping the wheel.

  I wondered how it would have been if one of my parents had died. Would I cry this hard? Would I care this much? They were hardly around, even while retired, but I loved them to death. It was scary to imagine them no longer on this earth.

  I looked at Izzy, watching as she swiped at the never-ending flow of tears. She hid her face in the sleeves of her cardigan and her sobs stopped for what felt like forever. Her body went absolutely still, and my eyes widened because from where I sat, it looked like she’d passed right out. Her eyes were shut. Her body was motionless. I couldn’t even hear her breathing.

  But seconds later, the loudest sob I’d heard from her all night was unleashed in the small space of my car and I startled in my seat, swallowing down the big pill of emotion.

  “God, Mom!” she wailed, and then she fell forward, burying her face in the cup of her hands. I rubbed her back, silence overcoming me. Nothing I could have said would calm her grief.

  For Izzy, it was too much to handle. No longer having a mother. No longer being able to share her life or future with the woman that birthed her and made so many sacrifices for her.

  I can’t imagine…

  “Let’s get you home,” I whispered, starting the car and driving slowly, blank the entire way back to Primrose Way.

  Mr. Black got home about two hours after we did. Sliding the curtain aside, I watched as he parked his bike and kicked the kickstand with the side of his leather boot. I waited for him to get off—waited for him to make a move—but he didn’t.

  The sun was just rising, a few rays shining down through the leaves of the towering palm trees surrounding him. None of the rays touched him, though. It seemed a higher power knew he was hurting, that his soul had been cloaked in darkness and anguish and was cutting him some slack.

  He sat on his bike for several minutes, and then he finally took action. Hopping off the leather seat, he opened the garage and as soon as he was inside, he picked up a few personal items, tossing them all out. Toolbox after toolbox came flying out, metal clanking and rattling as it slammed onto the concrete.

  A sharp gasp passed by me, and I went for my jacket, rushing down the stairs, shutting off the alarm, and quietly slinking out the balcony door so my parents wouldn’t hear me. After rounding the side of the house, I rushed across the street and up the Black’s driveway.

  “Mr. Black!” I called as he lifted a hammer in the air above his head. He was standing right above his old 2000 Harley. It
was a classic, still in great shape. I only saw him ride it once. He wanted to save mileage… at least that’s what he told us.

  His head whipped to the side, and he looked at me, eyes red-rimmed, his face still pale. His nostrils flared, the anger present. The pain clear. His hurt cutting deep.

  I lifted my hands in the air as I entered the garage cautiously, eyes hot. My throat dried out, lips parted as I tried formulating words. But what could I say? Other than saying I was sorry for his loss nothing felt like the right thing to tell him.

  “Theo,” I whispered, and his back straightened, his arms dropping with sluggish feat. “I know you’re upset,” I said. “I know this isn’t what you wanted. Mrs. Black shouldn’t be gone… she didn’t deserve what happened to her—”

  “I know she didn’t.” His voice was gruff as he cut my sentence in half. I’d never heard it that way before. Dry and scratchy and deep. It was the first time I ever felt unwelcomed by him.

  “Destroying the home you two worked so hard for won’t make you feel any better.” I pointed towards my house, taking a few more steps ahead. “Izzy needs a safe place to come back to…”

  He didn’t say anything. Just stared at me, motionless. Then, before I knew it, the hammer was no longer in the air. His arms dropped and it slipped out of his hands, hitting the ground with a heart-rattling thunk.

  I didn’t feel so safe while in the garage with him, but like someone trying to tame a wild beast, I kept moving forward. I didn’t know what Mr. Black was capable of. I didn’t know if I could trust him while he was so angry. I didn’t know the Theodore Black that thrived way before I ever existed. I didn’t know his backstory, but I assumed he had an immoral temper.

  I understood he was a good man and that he would never harm the people he loved, but I wasn’t sure if I fit into that group. As someone he cared about… someone he loved.

  After spending seven years around this man, he never could be placed in that “fatherly” category. He acted as more of a friend than a role model to me. Like he wanted to be my age again, living a free and reckless life.